Dreyer Haus

The High Five Habit by Mel Robbins

The Power of a High Five—Starting with Yourself

I’ve always been a fan of Mel Robbins (despite the recent controversy around her Let Them Theory). Up until now, I had only listened to her podcast, but I decided it was time to dive into one of her books. The High 5 Habit felt like the perfect fit—because, by nature, I’m a high-fiver.

I love giving high fives. I always have. There’s something about that simple gesture that brings encouragement, connection, and a sense of team camaraderie. But I had never thought about high-fiving myself. That concept had simply never crossed my mind.

Reading this book made me realize how important self-encouragement is in daily life. Why shouldn’t we be our own biggest cheerleaders? And what could happen if we were?

The Science Behind High Fives

Mel shares some compelling research on the power of a high five:

“The motivational power of a high five has been well documented…In one study, school-aged kids were split into three groups and asked to complete difficult tasks. Then, the researchers gave them one of three different forms of encouragement. The kids were either praised for a trait (‘You’re so smart’ or ‘You’re so talented’), praised for their effort (‘You’re really dedicated’), or simply given a high five.

The high five was, hands down, the best motivator. Here’s why: The kids who were praised for their intelligence or talent were the least motivated and had the least fun. Those who were praised for their effort showed greater enjoyment and persistence. But the kids who simply received a high five? They felt the most positive about themselves and their efforts—and they kept going the longest, despite making mistakes. The results were so clear that researchers titled the study High Fives Motivate when publishing it in Frontiers in Psychology.”

That hit me.

Reclaiming My High-Five Habit

I used to be an enthusiastic high-fiver. It was part of who I was. But last summer, I had open-heart surgery, and let me tell you—turns out, you use your ribcage a lot when you high five. After having my chest sawed open, I wasn’t exactly in the best shape to be handing out encouragement that way.

It wasn’t until I returned to work that I realized how much I had stopped high-fiving. It had been such a natural part of my interactions with coworkers, but without realizing it, I had let it fade away.

Starting with Myself—And My Kids

One of my favorite takeaways from this book is the idea of high-fiving yourself first. Looking in the mirror, saying something kind, and giving yourself that simple gesture of encouragement.

So, I’ve started a new routine with my kids—well, at least my younger ones (my teens would find it cringe, and I respect that 😆). Every morning in the school drop-off line, we flip open the car mirrors, say something positive about ourselves, and give ourselves a high five before they head into their day.

It’s a small thing, but I can already see the shift. And honestly? It feels really good.

So here’s my challenge to you: try high-fiving yourself today. You just might be surprised at how powerful it is.

Wanna grab the book so you can read it too?

You can right here

And let me know what you think!